a little inspiration

At OT It is interesting that, like many health issues, no one knows where sensory processing disorder comes from.  There is some suggestion of it being hereditary and I almost laugh out loud at the irony.  Of course, each and everyone of us carries around a list of sensory issues.  Experiences we'd rather not (ever) have and things we'd really, really like to happen every second of every day.  The difference between us and my son is that we (mostly) know how to handle our own issues. In the interest of fair play I thought I'd share a couple off my list: 1.  I really care about how what I am holding feels.  This manifests in a few ways.  One is silverware.  In the days before I got rid of all the mismatched pieces of silverware and bought a set I actually liked I regularly got up from the table and exchanged my fork or spoon if it was the "wrong" one(and most of them were.)  No way would I suffer through dinner with an offensive pi...

I am approaching my 33rd birthday in a few days.  I am so lucky to get to celebrate with family and friends in a beautiful gathering.  Thanksgiving really is my favorite.  I think it would have even if I hadn't been born after dinner. The other day Emerson and I had about the best day that could be imagined.  We went to the big library and then off to the tea house (which he decided to call the tea garden, "Because it is so peaceful and quiet here, Mama.") Emerson and I are both off gluten now and so we are sharing the fun of being two who are special.  I don't know if I am permanently off (and I'll admit to a little cheating after the first two weeks) but my health improved dramatically with a detox from all the vice foods.  No sugar, no gluten, no dairy, no coffee, no alcohol.  I'm not going to say for a minute that was easy, but the return was so good I'll be sure to add it into my regular calender.  Two weeks off everything was just right...

I can't believe it took me 32 years to realize that a fabric shower curtain was the way to go.  Pair it with these curtain hooks and you have something super easy to keep clean.  I blame that I had a shower with glass doors for it taking so long for me to figure out this simple solution to one of life's constant problems. :)   Anjali is finally big enough to wear the dresses I made at my sewing retreat and now I am itching to make more things for her for the Fall and winter.  She is growing so fast- too fast!  Already wearing 6 month clothes and sitting in the jumper and giggling and being so funny and screachy.  I just want to eat her up every day. Emerson gets better every day too.  More and more peace finds the way into our daily lives and I couldn't be more grateful for it.  I try to be more peaceful.  I try more loving approaches.  And now that I am not so totally exhausted by constant fighting I occasionally succeed....

~Emerson was picked up by a police officer and brought home earlier this week.  He had been following a rabbit and wandered away from the house.  I was in my car looking for him when I saw the police officer. ~We scheduled a lip revision for the wolf baby.  Monday after next we'll be going through that.  I hope it helps!  We've had a rocky breastfeeding relationship so far. ~I've been worn out with the constant arguing with E.  I hear it is normal for this age but I don't know how long I will hold out with it.  I feel like the there is a bit of confusion about who is the adult and who is the child.  Which seems weird, because I am not permissive, but he is sooo dominant.  Anyway, I'm tired of it and my patience is short.  Not my most stellar parenting lately. (He is actually arguing with John as I type this.) ~I really need to be getting things ready for his party.  It is going to be so fun! ~Moriah got us all a membership...

I feel like I have a lot to say but I am not sure what it is.  I have a couple things to share but I have to wait until after a certain someone's birthday.  Because I know he is a loyal reader... Today I went all out, wore my makeup, changed my jewelry and went out and got my eyebrows done.  Because you know in the weeks after the baby comes I will feel like a mess and every little bit helps.  I miss working at Doubledutch  and seeing all the new things as they come in.  I am sure in a few months I will be putting in an order with her to make myself look and feel like a hot mama instead of a hot mess.  (She actually has a special deal going on today- check out the website for details!) I am coming up on 500 posts and starting to think of some kind of giveaway to do... hmmm, what to do??  Something simple but fun.  I'm hoping some inspiration will hit. Today is cold enough that I am actually feeling it.  I have to say the best part abo...

As it turns out, I have a lot of thoughts this year about my birthday.  I feel like I am thinking about the year older more than ever as I approach this one.  I've begun to start combating the aging process of my skin recently because it is starting to show signs that I am not so young.  As a person who fought acne for so many years, this is new.  Working so hard to look like a grown up and now that I do (hello forehead- I'm talking to you!) not feeling all that great about it. With all the change and work of the last few months I am finally able to look past the move and onto the next big thing.  In just a couple months we'll have a new addition.  A tiny baby to fall in love with and throw off any rhythm we may have found.  A big brother created from an only child.  I have no idea what all this looks like and I am trying not to be too eager to find out.  I imagine "hard" and "amazing" will top the list of adjectives. Emerson's adjustm...

They sky looks like a giant's bed of pillows.  My socks are also so very pillow-like.  I am embarrassed when people look at the camera hanging around my neck.  I can't quite figure out why.

Today is the first day I have felt caught up in a while.  Which is so powerful because I don't think I could have handled today without at least that.  And a super nap from the boy... I don't ever remember such a roller coaster like time in my life.  Maybe I have become sensitive or perhaps everything really is a big deal, one way or the other.  Ever since about Thanksgiving I have been wobbling back and forth between delight and distress.  Case in point: After dinner last night the Bug broke our French press.  I had had a presentiment about it earlier in the day and was completely unsurprised.  But so sad. Later I was on the phone for a long time with someone about the opportunities we might find for working together as I finish my school.  This was very exciting and full of hope and promise.  Amazing! I got off the phone and went up to meet Senor in bed and couldn't find my pajamas.  I asked him if he knew whe...

Today I cut out an entire quilt in a nap. I even had time to begin to organize the blocks. This was largely thanks to the template that Senor cut out of acrylic and brought home for me. When you don't have to measure the cutting is so fast! Yesterday I had ironed all of the fabric. It is amazing what I can get done with the sewing machine broken... The machine is still down. I need to go try a couple more things but am hesitating and I am not sure why. I really don't want to find out that it is broken for real I guess. I need to find a good repair shop anyway and just suck it up and pay for regular tune ups. *Le sigh* Senor was gone all weekend so I was in single parent land. Wow, single parents are rock stars! I have been away with the Bug before but always to see people who really want to play and help with him (like grandparents) so getting a shower or making food was never an issue. Not that I don't do those things often enough when it is just the two of us...

I have been in Baltimore ten years today. E likes to push the stroller. He is currently napping and I need to wake him but just can't- look at that sweet face. One year ago I wrote this .

I saw this q&a over on Joanna's blog and thought since this year has been so eventful I should write it down. Surprise, surprise - there are a lot of baby things in the answers. Sorry if it is too sickly sweet. I'm in that kind of mood. 1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Had a baby. Became a stay at home mom. Started selling things I make. Researched diapers. Obsessed about curtains. 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

 I don't know if I made a resolution last year. This year I only resolve to keep going and try to experience each moment a little more. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

 Do I count? 4. Did anyone close to you die?

 My grandfather died. It was a little like a time warp cleaning out his place with my four month old child along. My experiences with my grandfather seemed a lifetime away. 5. What countries did you visit?

 The South. 6. What would you like to have in 2010 that...

Because: 1. Tonight is date night. 2. I bought a new dress and a very cool shirt for John so we could both feel great about ourselves tonight. 3. We are going to have free Lebanese thanks to some handy gift cards. 4. We are going to see Harry Potter in 3-d at the Imax! 5. I just bought plane tickets to Atlanta for Thanksgiving because I found a great deal. 6. Crissy and Jeremy are awesome. 7. Did I mention date night???!!!!

Some basic thoughts: 1. Some days I feel like it is not physically possible to feel full because you can't eat that much food in one sitting. 2. The time with Emerson during nursing is so special and wonderful. That said, some days he seems to nurse all day so having a book or dvd on hand helps pass the special time. ;) 3. Fitting back into my pre-pregnancy jeans was a wonderful moment. 4. So was being able to continue my normal married life. :) 5. When they say, "Try to stick with it." about nursing they should tell you a little more. Like, it might still be not be perfectly comfortable at 6 weeks or you will feel tied down in a way that will make you frustrated time to time or there is nothing better than seeing an upset babe relax into your arms. 6. I am now saying amazingly redundant things like, "Wow, I am so glad we already had him!" or "Can you believe we made a baby?" Yeah, I guess it takes a while to sink in... 7. I love having my belly b...

Okay- so mostly I don't drive the car that Senor and I share. Today was an exception which was really good because it was pouring cats and dogs all morning and I would have been in serious trouble if I had been walking. And by trouble I mean wet. Despite not actually using my own car I spend very little time walking anymore and often drive a car everyday. Usually it is a Volvo, but there are also a couple of BMW's, Ford cargo vans, and recently a Mercedes Benz SUV. I go to the bank three or four times a week and recently began wondering if anyone noticed that I come in a different car each time. What would they think? Do you think they would suspect drug dealing? Maybe I have multiple families and lead multiple lives. Or perhaps they would just think I am doing much better financially than I actually do. Senor thinks I am so charming I can talk the keys off a stranger. It kind of makes me want to try it sometime. Just see if I could... I have walked up to total st...

Can you feel the slight panic sensation? We're going to have a what? When? Okay, I'm over it for now... Last night I had a dream that we lived in this really strange hotel that was downtown but like something from Morrocco with tiles and bricks and weird levels. And then I went into labor, but it was now, at 30 weeks and so I knew that wasn't good but I didn't want to tell John becuase I didn't want to get him worried. Isn't it amazing the things you can feel normal about while dreaming? Anyway, we are going to the craft show in Baltimore this weekend and I am very excited. I also have a baby related project for each weekend until April so we will see how I do with that and updating things. I really do try. But you know, life gets in the way sometimes...

Let's go for a tour, shall we? It is a tour of my head... luckily for you it will only be a tour of the outside. No insides today. I will start with the most recent and work backwards. This is fairly recent and basically what I am working with now. It is a little longer but you get the idea. Over the summer. Right before prenatal vitamins started working magic... Early 2008. I was so happy when this grew out! Winter of 2007. I loved this look and always felt sexy... I have no idea why I went short in the spring... This happened in a fit of Alyssa Milano love. Seriously. I don't know either... From our reception. Five years ago next month. Crazy. All of this is just because I want a different look but don't want to cut my hair so I am trying to decide about maybe bangs again. I think I am going to go for it. I wish I was still willing to dye my hair looking at these pictures because I clearly look best with darker hair. Maybe tomorrow...

It is 70 degrees outside. The ticker says 85 days till baby. My brother will turn 30 tomorrow. Tonight is class 6 of 6 in our yoga birth class. This is blog 119. I hear 5 little bells blowing in the breeze. I have gained 20 pounds in 7 months. We will be married 5 years in 1 month.

(don't mind the smudged mirror- I'm going to clean that tomorrow morning...) So this was my outfit today. I usually don’t talk about fashion things because I am not all that fashionable. And now, with the belly, my options are getting narrower and narrower. But I have to tell you I love gray. And I love this little striped sweater. I don’t know why I always feel sexy and thin in dark gray or why these strips make me so happy but wow, do I feel great in this. Throw in the shoes and you can’t get me down. On another note, thank you so much for not thinking I am crazy to ask you to plant my garden! I can’t tell you how thrilled I am. I fantasize about what it will look like and how it will be to sit outside and enjoy the air and the sun again. I think about it so much sometimes I get nothing else done. I feel completely crushed by the weight of the darkness in winter sometimes. When you leave work every day and the sun has long since set. The other day however, I ha...

I can get on to the post that I have been trying to make since Sunday. Everyday this week we have had some kind of responsibility in the evening until now! Yay for Fridays!! Anyway, here are some pictures from my world: Last Sunday morning was spent in bed goofing. We had both been out late Saturday night and I didn't get out of bed until about 1pm. I did eat and play with the dog and take pictures and sleep some more- just all from bed! This is what it looks like from my bed. With the green cover on it you amlost feel like you could drift away into the lotus blossoms. This little one makes sure you don't drift too far before allowing her a romp in the yard and fresh bowl of food. And don't forget the kisses and belly rubs... But this is my favorite. Not because we look so beautiful or because the picture is all that great but it reminds me of the love and calm in this house and that makes me so happy I could burst.

Whew! Can I tell you something? (Of course I can, you just don’t have to read…) Do any of you remember when travel was cheap? I just can’t get over how I used to feel like a flight to where-ever was far cheaper than the time and expense of driving. And now?! Wow, no matter how hard I look and how many sites I check nothing seems affordable. Jeremy, Senor, do you remember when we went to the Bahamas and it cost about $400 each? Senor, do you remember Ireland for $550 each?! And that was with airfare and car and lodging!! I mean seriously. That wasn’t that long ago. I am not old enough for it to have been that long ago… I have no idea how to come to terms with this either. Travel feeling so far out of my reach is terrible. I feel stuck here in freezing land with no ability to get out. I have always been in love with movement and change. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am also a homebody. But I love to get away. It is always so much fun to leave and so wonderful to come ho...