a little inspiration

Soy seems to have been okay, though I will admit to not eating as much of it as maybe I should have.  I had one serving a day plus tamari on anything I could think of... Today is the first day of corn and already I feel bloated and a little gross.  I did have corn three times today so maybe that was overkill for any day... But I couldn't resist.  Corn is such a big substitute for all things gluten and snack like. Anyway, I'll give it a couple more days to judge.  Yesterday my lovely mother in law got married and I spent the whole day running around with her and eating nothing but fruit and cheese(when we ate at all.)  It was a wonderful day and everyone had a splendid time.  I wore the Hawthorn dress I made from Colette Patterns.  I even got pictures for you!  I'll share later this week.  Can you believe how many things I've made the last few months?  I don't think I've been this productive since Emerson was born. Speaking of t...

I'm trying out reintroducing dairy this week.  So far, wonderful.  Oh cheese, I love you.  I'll let you know if I still feel the same at the end of the week. xxo

In my constant search for inspiration I've stumbled onto Zen Habits  and can't believe it has taken me so long to find it.  I have no idea why I chose to read Everything that Remains  in the first place but what a revelation it has been.  Leading me to so many new places.  Zen Habits is definitely up my alley.  He sounds a bit like the voice in my head already. And, of course, I like that.  Who wouldn't want to hear advice and ideas that sound like you only wiser and more concise? We should all read his book The One Skill : The Letting Go eBook and then go on from there and read all the rest of his words.  It is such a powerful little book, an idea that will serve you in every facet of your life.  Every. Single. One. Go check it out.  Tell me what you think.  Tell him too.

I'm not going to lie.  This week I am bored with my options and ready for some cheese or tomatoes or salsa.  I opened the calendar to June and wrote on each week what food is going to be re-introduced.  I am so happy that dairy is week one.   I saw the doctor today and am actually up a couple pounds which I am super surprised about.  He said it because I am actually absorbing the nutrients.  After talking about how I have been feeling he suggested also cutting out eggs.  So many foods to miss at one time!  The evening is when it is hardest. I always used to load up on calories after the kids were in bed to make up for what I missed during the day.  Now I just have my smoothie or a rice cake with almond butter, coconut and raw cacao.  The other night I drank four glasses of water after the littles went to sleep and did feel much better the next day. But- two more weeks and then the fun part starts.  Anything is possible!! (ps...

Already it has been over a week since I started this elimination diet . I have felt well over all and not starving too much.  Although I haven't figured out easy things to take along yet (but really, what is simpler than grabbing a couple carrots?  It just seems so boring...) My mind, however, seems to be clearer, lighter.  I've been on cleanse type diets for this long before and had the feeling of lightness in the body but never so much clearness in my thoughts.  I'm eager to see what foods are responsible for the brain fog.  For years I've been blaming it on the children.  I almost feel like I should write an apology!  It's been amazing to see the brightness of the sky, the sparkle of the water this week.  Like I am coming up for air after too long under water.  I've been able to complete work and think through things with out getting bogged down, you see how much I've been writing! I miss tomatoes the most right now.  It mus...

These days are filled with wonder.  She invites me to walk with her with one finger pointed up.  She invites me to hold her with both hands out, twisted so her little elbows touch.  I can almost hear the request, "Hold me?" She loves to put on a necklace or my keys.  They bounce against her ankles as she walks.  She tries to put on shirts and sweaters on her own.  Over and over and over with no frustration.  She accepts help.  She toddles from place to place and tells a story as she goes.  She falls down and just crawls or gets up and goes again.  No frustration unless she is tired.  She seems to already know it is about the process, the journey.  She climbs everything she can.  She can get to the top of his loft ladder.  She is overjoyed as we are terrified. She loves small spaces.  You'll find her in the corner cabinet any time of the day.  She climbs into the toy bin.  She loves her brother. ...

Happy day to all of you!  I hope you are enjoying your snow or sunshine, each other or appreciating your time alone and loving yourself just as much.  Thank you for visiting me here! PS- This is what it looked like last year!!

Well hello!  Look at these little lady bunnies!! Mable and Sable are twin sisters.  They like many of the same things but each have their own sense of style and character.  Mable likes pretending to be a mouse ( Mrs. Frisby to be exact), playing with dirty children (you can tell by her already dirty dress), and having her ears nibbled by teething tots.  Sable is a little more reserved with my children, she is ready for an adventure and has just gone off to make her way in the world. I felt one day that I had to make a little bunny doll for Anjali and when I said it Emerson suggested making a second one for our newest little friend in Baltimore.  I thought it was the perfect idea.  I'd like to make about a dozen more for the many little friends we know.  I can tell they are good toys because everyone in the house wants to play with them. Of course, once they were here I knew they needed dresses.  Crocheted sweater dresses to keep the c...

I am approaching my 33rd birthday in a few days.  I am so lucky to get to celebrate with family and friends in a beautiful gathering.  Thanksgiving really is my favorite.  I think it would have even if I hadn't been born after dinner. The other day Emerson and I had about the best day that could be imagined.  We went to the big library and then off to the tea house (which he decided to call the tea garden, "Because it is so peaceful and quiet here, Mama.") Emerson and I are both off gluten now and so we are sharing the fun of being two who are special.  I don't know if I am permanently off (and I'll admit to a little cheating after the first two weeks) but my health improved dramatically with a detox from all the vice foods.  No sugar, no gluten, no dairy, no coffee, no alcohol.  I'm not going to say for a minute that was easy, but the return was so good I'll be sure to add it into my regular calender.  Two weeks off everything was just right...

This about killed me yesterday.  I had a dream where I told him I'd kill him if he kept doing what he was doing.  I then realized I was the violent one.  But thank heaven for the acupuncturist.

My best friend's baby came in the night.  It was the most wonderful news to wake up too.  Hearing everyone was safe and preparing for rest I spent the rest of the morning crying tears of joy.

Tomorrow he will be exactly 4.5 years.  Today he flipped his own pancakes and dressed up like a ninja for breakfast.  And then there was pumpkin carving.  Each day we move a little farther along the way.

She bonked her head three times today.  We are entering that stage where they need a full time helmet.  I had tea and started a new project while he ate apple sauce with yogurt and powder.  We are heading towards three years of that being his favorite snack.

 A few weeks ago we got out white t-shirts and just started drawing.  I think we both had a really good time and no one was harmed in the process.  It took time.  And then there were two fun new shirts he is excited to wear whenever he sees them.  I hear about kids who have distinct preferences on their clothing, those who will only wear one shirt or dress.  I am happy that Emerson's only display of that kind of behavior is a preference for hand made (or embellished.)  I know it won't be forever that he really likes the things I have made him, but I hope through the work we do together he will at least always be interested in making things for himself after he outgrows the love of mama-made.  Isn't his monster brilliant? The packing and getting rid of and organizing continues over here.  I am so thankful for school so that I may have a chance to do some alone and some with help.  Both kinds of packing and sorting are needed....

Today I took the plunge and went through some of the things waiting for me from the basement.  Mold everywhere.  It makes it easier to throw it all away.  The things are just things, I keep saying.  A lesson in attachment.  I am who I am without those things.

Our days aren't all drama.  :)  Many days are as graceful as can happen with a new four year old and a new four month old.  The counselor that we went to see a couple times tells me that Emerson is just super bright and right in line with his age.  This makes me feel better.  Happy that he is where he needs to be, happy that, even in my regular failure, this is the "normal" challenge.  I am adopting Anne of Green Gables idea: Tomorrow is always new, with no mistakes in it. Also happy for the support of family and friends.  Happy that there is family so close and friends that understand the place we are at right now.  Near and far, the calls and emails after my last post about him were so wonderful, so needed, and so full of kindness. We also found a pre-school co-op that I think we'll be joining this Fall.  I can hardly wait.  We met the other day and played with them most of the morning.  The teacher is so graceful, so gent...

This boy is quite a conundrum to me.  I spend a lot of time trying to find a better way to deal with each and every thing with him.  We read books and articles, ask other parents for advice in what seems like an endless cycle of never ending work.  I've never worked harder for a relationship.  In fact, I wouldn't dream of working this hard for anyone who wasn't my child.  After a couple very serious events I finally called in for help.  Today was our first session with a counselor and also turned out to be an ideal day of parenting for me.  Play and work happened side by side, everything went smoothly, even the bumps.  No one yelled and no one fought.  It was amazing. That isn't to say that other days haven't gone that way.  Last week we had six days straight without too much drama.  The last three days have been closer to hell.  This is a much improved ratio already and I am hoping (beyond hope, really) that it is hi...

We all made it through the procedure on Monday morning.  I will not was that it was easy.  I do feel very strongly that it was the right choice.  Dr Hahn did also find a posterior tongue tie so we had both the lip and tongue lasered.   Papa held her while they did it and I was glad.  Afterwards she nursed and went to sleep pretty fast.  I was a shaky mess.  It was a lot uglier to watch than I expected as they had to go pretty deep.  I've had surgery in my own mouth a couple times, but I had never watched .  Emerson has had several mouth/lip traumas in his short life which have been hard, but nothing like taking a happy baby and holding her still through something that hurts. Anyway, she is doing really well now and has been smiling and very much like herself since the evening afterwards.  Nursing is better already and I am betting with time will get even better. Here she is wearing pants I made after seeing this post. ...

This is my 500th post.  I've been writing and sharing here for 5 years.  I've tried many new things, had some success and failure.  I've made a couple babies, lost a few pets and moved.  It has been a wonderful time.  I want to thank you for coming along!  I love that this serves as a true online journal for me and I can look back and see the evolution and the bits that have stayed the same. One thing, which I find mind blowing this morning, is that I have been a full time stay at home mom for nearly 4 years now.  It is true, I tried a few months of part time work, but it wasn't worth it in the end.  And that is really saying something.  I have never had a single job for more than a couple years.  And I liked this job so much that I wanted to do it again.  I have never in my life been as fulfilled, frustrated, drained and energized by a job.  Everything else I ever did was just for a paycheck.  I went to work just ...

Over here we have a house full of preparations.  Gathering birthing and newborn supplies, lanolizing diaper covers, and now just starting to think of storing some food away.  John and I are each at our "assigned" reading each night and Emerson has his own "work." We have three particular books that have been a lot of fun and spark great discussions and pride in his new coming role.  It is interesting to hear his thoughts and questions.  I always love the ones that start out, "Well, you, know, when I was a baby....." I'll start at the bottom of the stack.  My midwife gave us "Welcome with Love" to read.  The pictures are sweet, the one telling the story is a boy about E's age.  It is calm and full of little bits about how it will really be.  Mom makes a lot of noise, people cry when the baby is born, there is a picture of the placenta.  All things he may see and hear.  I like that it also is a birth that takes place in the winter an...