Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Some random bits

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Some days it seems like it is raining even inside.  This was Papa's version of escapism on one of the more turbulent days in the first week.  Luckily, as routine begins again I think things are calming down.  The babymoon is over but I think it was more than anyone could really take.  (Except for the laying in bed part for me.:)

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Here she is wearing the shirt E colored for her.  Probably for the only time.  We went to the doctor today and she has grown 2 inches and is up 5 oz from her birth weight.  I've already taken out the first round of clothes because she is out of the tinier newborn items.  So amazing how fast she is growing.  I feel like we may have also just hit that first growth spurt that means they eat around the clock for a day or two or three.  She has been so easy so far, just like E was, I remember being totally caught off guard when he decided that if he wasn't eating he was fussing around two weeks.  And then just as suddenly it is over and they catch up. I can't believe how fast it is going!

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This is the fourth baby that has used this Moby.  I got it dirt cheap from a shop going out of business having no idea how it worked.  I used it with E, passed it on to my brother and sister-in-law for their son Dean, got it back and handed it over to my friend Beth to use with her boy, Max.  Now it gets to cart around a girl for a change. :)  I love this kind of wrap.  I got a woven this go round too.  When she is a little bigger I'll bust that out.  And the mei tai I made for E came back to me.  I love knowing multiple babies and mamas have used a carrier.  There is something really special in that.

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And here she is in a mess of crochet on a chilly day last week.  This baby loves to be warm and is really enjoying all the wool.  Which just means I have to go get more yarn.

Savoring

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Each day I realize that this is likely the last time time I will have a baby this age.  Each day I look at her and say, "Ten days, this is what ten days is." I try to drink it all in so I can remember every moment.  Not to form an attachment.   Not to hold onto to something that is impossible to keep.  Just to truly enjoy each moment.  Not to miss or dismiss the everyday for the miracle it is.  These little hands will be bigger tomorrow.  This face will change.  Her body will grow and her needs will be different.

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Right now she is so happy to cling onto my shoulder and sleep the day away.  Or nurse and coo.  Or look questioningly into my eyes.

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Right now she wants nothing more than to be close and fed and warm.  And now I know for sure that this is the easiest part of her life.  Our simplest relationship is right now, when her demands are few and my desire to care for her is so great.  It will get harder later, as our ideas of bliss diverge.

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So today I savor the tiny person she is.  And I don't look forward or back.  I stay right here, right now.

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{ps- There are more pictures from this day.  Click any to see the rest.}

Monday, February 11, 2013

The cradle

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When I found out I was pregnant I knew that I wanted something special and handmade from my father.  Something I couldn't make myself and I didn't want to buy.  A new family heirloom.

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I searched the internet for designs and came across a website that had plans for cradles.  I chose a simple, old fashioned style and sent the plans to my father asking if he thought it was doable.  He said yes and I was thrilled.

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He went through a lot to get the wood.  It is cherry from a place near his home.  He borrowed and improvised tools.  He learned new techniques and asked for help from all over.  He researched stains and coatings to find the best and safest thing.  He had quite a following on facebook of people checking in on the project and his progress.

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I love how he put the boards together.  How it almost looks like eyes watching over her.  How the wood began to shine as Emerson and I rubbed the beeswax and oil coating on it.  How it is so full of love for me, and Sissie and for the babies to come to our growing family.  

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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sissie at 2 weeks

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You:
: are staying awake for longer periods so we've all actually seen your eyes now.  We can't agree on the color.  I've heard grey, green, blue and brown.
: sleep wonderfully.
: cluster nurse in the evening so we have lots of time to talk and play before bed.
: love your hands. You hold them and suck on them often.
: get lots of cuddles and kisses from your brother. Last night he told you some great stories.
: purr like a kitten sometimes.
: have the hiccups daily.  It is often very squeaky and cute, but you don't seem amused.
: have the softest hair and skin, we all like to rub our cheeks on you.
: are an official person as we have applied for your birth certificate.
: are loved beyond belief.

{You weighed 7lbs 12oz and measured 20.5 inches at the doctor!  That means you grew two inches in two weeks!!}

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fragile

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Our transition to a family of 4 (or really 5- because Morai cannot be left out) has been better in some ways than expected and harder too.
I have been feeling great, and except for my midwife telling me to stay in bed over the weekend, have been surprised at my bodies ability to recover so quickly from such a fast birth.  (or any birth for that matter!)  I've been in love from the first second and I think the hormonal cocktail of the first little while makes me a much kinder and gentler version of myself and I think that works well for everyone. :)  Unless I don't get fed- then all bets are off.
Anjali has been a sleepy baby like her brother was so we aren't so sleep deprived most days.  And with all the help around the house we are even keeping up with the mountains of laundry!

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Emerson has been so sweet and loving toward his "baby Sissie", always worried about the noises she is making and singing to her during diaper changes.  Offering hugs and kisses whenever he thinks of it.  In every other place he has been melting down in record tantrums.  I thought we were going to make it all the way through yesterday without one, for the first time a week, but alas, there was a spill at dinner time that triggered one.  Poor Papa has had to face the bulk of these tantrums on his own and is trying to find the patience in an ever dwindling supply.  I do think we are getting closer to the end of them as next week we will get back to our more regular schedule.  I feel so heart broken for E each time I hear these happening.  I can't really identify with what he is upset about, but how upset he is is clear to me. I actually almost cried with him yesterday as he calmed down.  I feel lucky that he is expressing all of this at things other than the baby.  I remember when he was born and the day after crying at the hospital just because the change was so overwhelming and so fast.  The hormones and the emotions running high, I didn't feel sad or angry or even really upset, just that so much had happened in the last 24 hours and I couldn't really process it.  I can only imagine how much more magnified that feeling must be for a 3 year old boy who used to be an only child and has such limited ways to express his emotions.  Add to that he was sick all last week and I am surprised the house is still standing.
So, today we are fragile in many ways but I know we will all grow stronger together as the days pass.