a little inspiration

So far dairy has been great.  It has felt wonderful to reintroduce something I really like and felt strongly wasn't the problem first.  I'll be back to avoiding it the next four days and watching for any signs of a negative reaction. Next week we go to the beach for a very long awaited (I don't know the last beach trip we made...) family vacation.  It should be interesting trying to eat out that many days in a row with this many restrictions.  I'll be packing a small health food store's worth of food. But at least I am fairly sure dairy will be back in the mix and so at least there is that. You should see the list I've started making...  I already today the other members of the family I don't mind bringing a smoothie for meals out if it looks like that will be the only option for me.  (Or the best one...)  Of course, we'll have to go places that have gluten free options anyway because of Emerson and we are vegetarians but for goodness sakes, ...

Each day more things go out the door.  I cleaned no less than the ten items off of the windowsill in front of the sink and that entire counter is free of any "extra" items.  Suddenly I find myself washing dishes in the middle of the day just to keep that area clear.  (This, my friends, is totally unheard of and my husband may be in shock about it.)  The sideboard is also nearly there.  Things don't get put away in my home simply because I can't think of anyplace better to put them.  It seems the only way to clean up is to clear out.  Some books left the house today.  The kitchen is on my list for tomorrow.  The excess is moving out. All this is leaving room for more thought (hence all the writing.)  A few weeks ago I looked at my husband and asked how I got to age 33 and still had no idea what I wanted to do with myself.  Anjali won't be so little much longer, I'd say I have two more years tops that I'll be home with her ful...

Already it has been over a week since I started this elimination diet . I have felt well over all and not starving too much.  Although I haven't figured out easy things to take along yet (but really, what is simpler than grabbing a couple carrots?  It just seems so boring...) My mind, however, seems to be clearer, lighter.  I've been on cleanse type diets for this long before and had the feeling of lightness in the body but never so much clearness in my thoughts.  I'm eager to see what foods are responsible for the brain fog.  For years I've been blaming it on the children.  I almost feel like I should write an apology!  It's been amazing to see the brightness of the sky, the sparkle of the water this week.  Like I am coming up for air after too long under water.  I've been able to complete work and think through things with out getting bogged down, you see how much I've been writing! I miss tomatoes the most right now.  It mus...

I think my journey towards minimalism began long before I identified the term.  When we were moving down here I started to switch from loving and looking for color to fill our bedroom to searching for white and calm.  There could be details, but subtle, simple was what I looked for.  White sheets instead of patterned, a single white blanket.  A dark wood bed frame to give contrast but also to fall away visually. I love the feeling of that bed now.  The soft texture of the blanket, the cool feeling of the sheets.  One painting, painted by my love for my Christmas gift this year, sets the meditative tone.  A place of peace. But all around it, the clutter.  The noise of life I wouldn't give away, but the stuff I can never find a home for?  Ugg.  I see pictures of rooms without stacks of things everywhere and yearn for that but never knew how to make it happen.  There simply isn't room to put away everything we have in this sm...

It is funny to be doing a minimalistic diet in conjunction with a clear out of excess physical stuff in my home.  It has got me doing a whole lot of thinking, of seeing the cross pieces of my life as it currently is.  Looking at the change while it is happening in a very intentional and cathartic way. Yesterday I thought I was doing very well with the diet, I even attended my first food oriented outing in the morning with great success.  I attended a brunch where people have a very clean, holistic style of eating and living and so I wasn't too terribly tempted.  However, I could only eat from three dishes there and by the end I was hungry. When we got home I made kale chips and consumed them all (okay, I shared a few with everyone else, E in particular.)  John made grilled cheese for himself and Emerson and that was fine until I was sitting across from them and had a little cartoon like daydream of myself ferociously attacking them and eating their sand...

Women spend a lot of time beating themselves up.  Mothers do it even more I think.  I recently had to rate my self confidence and I realized I had two completely separate scores.  As a human being, taking care of myself, making choices about what I want, how to get it, etc I score high.  As parent of a nearly 5 year old I am scrapping by each day, pulling myself off the floor and trying to get through it.*  (I know I am still in the golden stage with the baby.) Several weeks ago I participated in a parenting seminar and one of the facilitators looked me straight in the eye and said gently, "It sounds like you've really figured out a lot of things that work for your family."  I'm going to tell you my first reaction: I thought it was a pretense.  Giving me a little compliment that she didn't really mean to shut me up or get me to hold it together.  (I wasn't holding it together very well that day.)  But then I looked deeper.  She h...

How does your face feel?  Anyone try it?  I swear, it sounds weird but it is so good!  You're going to love this week. A few weeks ago we had our first really warm day. It was a surprise to me and I went and changed out of my pants and into a skirt.  When I looked at my legs I was a little horrified.  They were covered in red spots and the skin was so dry as to look fragile.  Ug!  How could they look this old??? (are you sensing a pattern here?  Clearly, I am delusional. ;) Here it is time for some confessions- 1. I don't often shave my legs in the winter and when I do it is almost always with my husband's electric razor (hi sweetie!) 2. I am beyond paper white.  Right off into pale marble. 3. I have several broken blood vessels on my legs from pregnancy and, eons ago, playing catcher in softball. 4.I have always liked my legs the least of any feature. Because we have a shower stall and not a bathtub I almost never see my legs in th...

I had to use the pun.  You'll forgive me, right? A few months ago I read an article about using an unexpected oil to wash your face.  Castor oil.  It talked all about how it sucks the yucky stuff out of the pores and leaves you with soft smooth skin.  It also mentioned that it can be over drying and it was good to mix it for most people with something else. I immediately thought of honey. I've been using honey off and on for a few years in my skin care regime. It has never seemed like quite enough on it's own.  I have combination skin that tends to be congested. But the last year I see that it is starting to look papery and thin.  In pictures I see an almost unrecognizable face.  I'm not still 17??? I don't fear growing older in most ways.  I don't spend much time in front of the mirror.  I do soul gazing, not skin gazing.  That said, I am human and so seeing the age on my face so obvious in the last year has been hard. ...

Recently I realized I have only this one body, this one self to last me through all the days of my life.  It dawned on me that I haven't been honoring it.  I am ready to change.  One of the biggest things as moms we let go is self care.  Everyone and everything gets placed on the list before us.  The "parenting experts" give lip service to the idea of a mother taking care of herself first while adding 17 more items to your list to feel bad about not accomplishing properly.  I see this in myself and in the mothers I meet (and the fathers often too, but I don't walk in their shoes!)  Over the next few weeks I am going to share some simple things I've been doing for myself and I hope you'll share some things with me.  I think Tuesdays are a good day for them.  We've all survived Monday and might need a little pick me up to get through the week ahead. I'm excited to start this. I'll see you Tuesday! Until soon-

If you are local to the Baltimore area you will want to go check out Baltimore Yoga Village schedule this week.  They have some monks from Drepung Gomang monestary in India visiting and meditating and giving talks through June 3rd. It was a lovely way to start the morning.

We are working on a new schedule.  No. Sleep.  Till Brooklyn!! Ahem, I mean, no more naps.  Why? You might ask.  I can tell you that staying up till 10pm with a bouncy child and then getting up early with a cranky pants child is just no good.  No good at all.  Especially as I am neither a night owl nor a morning person.  (How does that happen?  I really just need a half hour of being awake before I am responsible for anyone's life.  That doesn't seem like so much to ask... does it??) So- no more nap.  So we are avoiding any car rides in the afternoon and getting woken up right away if randomly he does manage to fall asleep.  Which makes him GRUMPY.  But that is okay.  I am keeping my eye on the prize.  If he is asleep by 8:30 I might get a chance to read for twenty minutes before I pass out.  :)

Now that we are spending all day everyday together I am working hard to get nap times in.  Mostly they happen in the car or not at all.  I try to always have something to do with me.  Crochet is so wonderfully portable. After my miscarriage I got a sweet little package in the mail from one of my best friends from high school.  (Oh, the wonder of facebook!)  It was full of yarn and what a perfect gift for hands that are always seeking to be busy. I had a hard time deciding how to use it.  It wasn't a whole lot, but it was beautiful.  I wanted to make it into something for myself but Spring was coming fast and the need for scarves and hats was almost over.  Finally, I came across this shawl pattern (ravelry link.)  It has been the perfect thing.  Warm, but not hot.  Perfect sized even for Emerson to use when he is chilly.  I wear it way more than I expected and with this chilly, rainy weather it adds just the coziness I...

I spent a while this morning trying to get a good picture of my new 'do. It was just me and the auto timer. Set in the normal place on the bedside table. But I was aiming for just the head really. And using the zoom, which I don't usually do. So it was a little tricky.  And the light was bad... Turns out the first one was the best. 

I have been on it over here.  New clients, good food, crocheting and sewing.  In addition to working in my favorite two boutiques in town.  How lucky am I?  Completely. There are a number of items from the store that have made there way into my closet and it is a constant source of inspiration.  After only getting out with out the child one day a week (at most!) for well over 2 years it feels great to be picking items which are both practical for my daily adventures and fashionable.  Imagine!  And while looking good isn't so important to me philosophically, feeling confident is.  And if looking good leads there- well, there are worse things!   When new things come into doubledutch and I unpack and steam them or help write up descriptions for the website (don't mind the type o's) I find myself falling in love with so many of the pieces that it would end up with me paying them to work there if I let it get out of control.  So I tak...

This week our little Bug is off exploring Oma and Opa's house, having a great time and enjoying his cousin and the great outdoors.  It offers us the chance to get to some projects that are just too dangerous or involved to handle with a two year old into every little thing.  It also gives us the chance to slow down and do some completely selfish things.  There are plenty of times that taking a break from taking care of everyone and everything else and being super selfish is the perfect thing to do.   While we work as fast as we can to take the bathroom apart and put it back together again looking better (hopefully) than ever before we also planned some things to reward all the hard work and effort.  The number one thing I was looking forward to when I knew we'd be sans child for a week was sleeping in.  For real.  Not only have I been able to sleep until I naturally get up (which is only about 8 anyway) but then I don't actually have to do anythin...