Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fragile

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Our transition to a family of 4 (or really 5- because Morai cannot be left out) has been better in some ways than expected and harder too.
I have been feeling great, and except for my midwife telling me to stay in bed over the weekend, have been surprised at my bodies ability to recover so quickly from such a fast birth.  (or any birth for that matter!)  I've been in love from the first second and I think the hormonal cocktail of the first little while makes me a much kinder and gentler version of myself and I think that works well for everyone. :)  Unless I don't get fed- then all bets are off.
Anjali has been a sleepy baby like her brother was so we aren't so sleep deprived most days.  And with all the help around the house we are even keeping up with the mountains of laundry!

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Emerson has been so sweet and loving toward his "baby Sissie", always worried about the noises she is making and singing to her during diaper changes.  Offering hugs and kisses whenever he thinks of it.  In every other place he has been melting down in record tantrums.  I thought we were going to make it all the way through yesterday without one, for the first time a week, but alas, there was a spill at dinner time that triggered one.  Poor Papa has had to face the bulk of these tantrums on his own and is trying to find the patience in an ever dwindling supply.  I do think we are getting closer to the end of them as next week we will get back to our more regular schedule.  I feel so heart broken for E each time I hear these happening.  I can't really identify with what he is upset about, but how upset he is is clear to me. I actually almost cried with him yesterday as he calmed down.  I feel lucky that he is expressing all of this at things other than the baby.  I remember when he was born and the day after crying at the hospital just because the change was so overwhelming and so fast.  The hormones and the emotions running high, I didn't feel sad or angry or even really upset, just that so much had happened in the last 24 hours and I couldn't really process it.  I can only imagine how much more magnified that feeling must be for a 3 year old boy who used to be an only child and has such limited ways to express his emotions.  Add to that he was sick all last week and I am surprised the house is still standing.
So, today we are fragile in many ways but I know we will all grow stronger together as the days pass.

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