Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Sometimes you can't see


the swan for the tree.  Oh, wait, that isn't how it goes...  Ah well, I'll keep trying.
I've been reading a lot recently.  A whole lot.  And I keep meaning to take a snapshot of my bedside table because it is a little funny.  Piled high and full of different ideas.  I'll get to that... one of these days.
I keep thinking of impermanence and how wonderful it is.  I've been using it to get me through a lot of very silly, superficial issues along with the more important ones.  It is funny how you can get so hung up on things that don't matter.  At all.
Like my hair.  I love it.  I hate it.  It hardly exists in my mind.  It is plaguing me.  Once in a while I think- oh, it is being cute today!  And while I know intellectually that what my hair looks like doesn't define me, when it is "bad" I really focus on it and wish it was like that girls or this girls or maybe even that bald guy over there.  I've struggled with this as long as I can remember, always dying or cutting it.  It isn't even really bad hair- just that it is never what I want.  But now I feel all that silly, vain, negative energy and I'm able to remind myself that it will be different soon.  This moment isn't forever.  It isn't even important right now because it doesn't inherently exist. 
Isn't that crazy?  I'm applying Buddhist philosophy to my hair.  And my skin.  And my body.   While it may seem like a useless endeavor I am actually finding it very freeing.  I am something other than the sum of my physical parts.  It shows me that all I need to do is let those thoughts go and show myself, my real self, some loving kindness.  You are not all these parts taken and judged harshly and separately.  You are a soul that happens to inhabit a body at this time.  You are able to be small minded and focus on your vanity or let all that go and treat everyone around you with the loving kindness you wish you were showing yourself each day. 
We choose each day, each moment, to be kind or harsh.  Let's start with being kind to ourselves.  For the benefit of all beings.

1 comment:

OldBikeRider said...

yeah, what you said. I beleive it. Now, about your hair ....