Monday, April 4, 2011

Waiting to Breathe

Today was about as perfect as it could be.  A trip to the zoo with friends, sunshine, running and laughing, dirt eating and perfect homemade pizza.  It felt so good.  I spent nap time cutting out a pair of shorts for the Bug and and suddenly it was nearly five.  After dinner he asked for a hair cut and sat still almost long enough to get his bangs trimmed.  Amazing.
Things are moving so quickly with him right now.  Words come pouring out in new combinations every day.  We live in a constant dolphin show and I think every sentence ends in an exclamation point.   I have such a good time when I just let go and am with him.  I struggle so much against the pull to be elsewhere in my head.  The truth is- I never shut down and just exist in the present like I used to be able to.  I am nearly always planning, waiting, wishing.
The other day I was at the bookstore with Senor and E and for the first time in a long time I was able to look at books.  Because there was someone else to look at E.   I didn't know even where to go.  I wandered to the nutrition area first and found nothing to pull me there.  I looked at some parenting books for a moment but they didn't hold me either.  And then I got to the buddhist and meditation area and I just stood and stared at the spines on the books.  Breathe in, breathe out.  See there.  I just typed it and it made me do it.  Again.  Again.
I am ready to take control of my mind again.  To find my happy quiet place and rest there for a few moments so that later I still have that peace to draw on.  So what are your favorite ways to be mindful?  Any books you love on the subject?

1 comment:

Cindy said...

My favorite way is to stop and say, "One arm at a time." My massage therapist helped me find that mantra, and it really helps. I also like massages because then I'm totally like jello and peaceful the rest of the day.

I try to be mindful in the things that I eat, but you already have that one covered.

I like the bible for lessons on mindfulness (depends on how a person reads it, I suppose). I also really like Einstein's Dreams and poems by Mary Oliver and Billy Collins.