a little inspiration

Today I took the plunge and went through some of the things waiting for me from the basement.  Mold everywhere.  It makes it easier to throw it all away.  The things are just things, I keep saying.  A lesson in attachment.  I am who I am without those things.

This is a picture from our trip this summer.  I keep meaning to share about it but we live in a whirlwind and I like to take the quiet times and keep them quiet. Yesterday Emerson went in while the baby was waking from a nap and I was making dinner and got her to go back to sleep himself.  Insert binky, pat, leave.  Quite amazing and if it only happens once I want to remember it forever anyway.  She adores him.  Utterly, completely. School has been such a help for him.  He is more and more fun to be around and the really hard days are harder and harder to find.  The other day we were at a play place and two parents came to tell me how special it was that Emerson was playing with and helping their children.  Magical.  I love being able to just love him more, being less frustrated. She wants to crawl.  She rocks and wiggles and tries again and again.  Soon things will be harder and more fun and gah, I'm about to burst with t...

You: :Are so dang cute. :Talk up a storm.  bahbahbah! :Sit pretty strongly now. :Are trying to get into crawling position.  I may or may have not knocked you over from doing this... ;) :Seem to have the bottom teeth coming in. :Love avocado, cucumber, tomato, pear, plum, and pretty much everything else you've tasted to far. :Are scooting about a bit on your bum. :Seem like you are lengthening out a bit.  Your face is changing. :Use your lip to go, "Pop, pop, pop!" and it jiggles so sweetly and sounds an awful lot like the Monty Python coconut horse hooves. :Also cluck your tongue. Did I mention cuteness? :Are LOUD. :Do this funny fist pump, punch yourself in the mouth up and down routine. :Reach up an inquisitively grab our faces. :Laugh at anything your brother is doing. :"Play" your bottom lip while making noise to make the sound undulate.  This is very silly and especially helpful when you decide to "talk" to us at 3 or 4 in the ...

As it is now, we always feel a little crazy here.  One day fine and lovely, one day pure hell.  I have no idea how to remedy this.  We've been talking to a therapist for a few months and the other day she was trying to give me some ideas to redirect and I was nodding and letting her know that we have done all of those things.  ALL of them and none of them work.  We are not your typical family.  I've read lots of books and articles.  I've tried every trick I've come across.  Some don't work a bit, some work once or twice, none seem to really have any sticking power.  He turns even the best ideas on their head.  The best intentions turn into the worst ideas at rapid fire with him. I try not give up.  I have written "Don't YELL!" on my hand all week.  Yesterday morning he ran after Papa in the car and I chased him down the street holding the baby and wearing my bathrobe.  I had half the neighborhood out in no time. At leas...

  This is my newest favorite activity to do with Emerson.  I will call it a Zen activity, in fact.  So simple, so easy.  And yet, complicated and requiring your whole attention.  Fun to do by yourself.  Fun to work with others.  Side by side or more as a team.  Infinite options.  Often quiet.  Sometimes chatty.  Ah.  So if you have a kid who loves to build, do yourself a favor and spend $3 on some dixie cups.  Oh, and the sound of them falling down is lovely and soft. Emerson loves to build, but different than many other kids, he doesn't care about the end result.  He wants to knock it down and start over the instant it gets to some magical "done."  This has really frustrated me with other building materials we use.  Lincoln Logs, Legos, pillows for fort building.  In a weird way, the cups remind me of crochet.  Stacking stitches one over the next to build a shape.  I know it must be ...

Things I was reminded of today: : you can get a fat lip before getting out if bed. : a bit of tea in the afternoon can be a mini vacation.  Even in August. : the words you most need to hear will come when least expected and from surprising sources. : those side lying sit ups are hard work that feels great.

I gave up on facebook.  Cold turkey is tough.  I am trying not to give up on anything else. Present.  I will be present.  I can do it.  I don't have to escape. So, hopefully there will be more snippets here.  There are plenty of pictures and ideas to share.  And I need the outlet.  Who knows if anyone will come anymore...