Sunday, August 18, 2013

Lost

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As it is now, we always feel a little crazy here.  One day fine and lovely, one day pure hell.  I have no idea how to remedy this.  We've been talking to a therapist for a few months and the other day she was trying to give me some ideas to redirect and I was nodding and letting her know that we have done all of those things.  ALL of them and none of them work.  We are not your typical family.  I've read lots of books and articles.  I've tried every trick I've come across.  Some don't work a bit, some work once or twice, none seem to really have any sticking power.  He turns even the best ideas on their head.  The best intentions turn into the worst ideas at rapid fire with him.
I try not give up.  I have written "Don't YELL!" on my hand all week.  Yesterday morning he ran after Papa in the car and I chased him down the street holding the baby and wearing my bathrobe.  I had half the neighborhood out in no time. At least they are so kind.  They found him and took care of the baby while I walked along the place he went last time.  I looked like a crazy person (and I was one.)
I am really debating on having him go through testing for something being wrong with him.  The therapist has offered a referral.  You can tell she is torn about it too.  On the one hand, a label can be useful in choosing a direction.  On the other, the label can stick forever and alter how he is treated from before people even meet him.  It is tough.  I feel quite lost in the woods of it.  Caught up without a clear view of where to go.

4 comments:

Catoctin Mountain Mama said...

Oh, Darling...I am so, so sorry you are going through all this hell. You are doing the absolute best you can and that's all each of us can do. Thinking of you each day and hoping that perhaps with some testing things might become clearer. Hugs.

Alisa Rock said...

Don't think of it as a label, if there is one. Think of it as the start of helping him and your family with his behavior.

Labels are like post-it notes. They can come off when you need them to. If they don't, they're there to remind you of how to help him.

anilia said...

Thank you both. You are right.

Mom A said...

I would encourage you to walk the mile,if help is available seek it, it will be lonely and freeing. XX and OO for you all.